Hi, everyone. We're glad you're here. This is the Three Lesbians and a Pen podcast. Get ready to have your world rocked. As we dive into the wild and sometimes wacky world of self-publishing. We are three fabulous bestselling authors. I'm your host, Kimberly Todd with my best friends.

K. C. Luck

and Jamey Moody. 

Join us as we discuss the joys of writing, challenges of self-publishing, and anything else that tickles our fancy. 

Hey there, and welcome to Episode 44 of the Three Lesbians and a Pen podcast. I'm Kimberly Todd, and I'm here with my fabulous friends, KC Luck and Jamey Moody. Today we're celebrating the One Year of our podcast. Yay. But before we start, how was your week, KC?

My week was good as always. I finished Route 69, Texas and sent it to my editor, so that's the good news. Still planning to have it come out, probably about the time this actually comes out, but it's August 27th, so there's a quick turnaround on that one. She promised you'd have it back to me in 10 days, and then I can do the final edits and get it to my proof reader, which is my mom, which will be interesting 'cause it is highly erotic.

Woo.

Highly erotic. 

Oh my God.

O-M-G-O-M-G. But other than that, I have been doing some fun stuff. I actually went to what is called a night market. Are you guys familiar with a night market at all? Yeah. So it's actually kind of an occult, slash tarot card, slash metaphysical, event that was outside after dark, so it was like nine to midnight and... 

So is it spooky?

It was.

The witching hour. 

People were all, yes, people were all dressed up in like goth and, you know, it was just really interesting. And they had like lots of bones you could buy. Just really weird stuff. Yeah, I know.

Human bones? 

No, No, hopefully not human. They were like, you know, animal skulls and stuff, but... so I'm kind of into tarot cards and things along that line, but this was a little bit of a stretch for me, but it was really interesting. I went and I had a good time. My mom went speaking of my mom. She's very, open-minded. So yeah, I had a good time with that.

Interesting. 

Sounds fun.

Yeah. 

Huh? Sounds freaky to me.

Any vampires there?

Ah, yes, yes. There were some vampires there and they were selling blood of the cherry, so I was like,

I hope they mean the fruit. It's like, okay, this is getting seriously weird.

This is a lesbian podcast.

Yeah, I know, but still, Ugh.

Yeah. Really?

Okay, well, let's see, dear listeners, the last time we recorded, if you'll remember, I wasn't feeling too well that day. And I'll be darn, I got sick and I have been sick for two weeks. But just in the last couple of days, I finally started feeling better. I didn't have COVID or flu, but I had something like it that I couldn't get rid of.

And let me tell you, I don't get sick very often, so that's what was kind of strange at first. And I watched so much TV because I didn't feel like reading. I didn't feel like writing and. There is nothing on sometimes all of these channels that you have and all of the ways that you can watch tv. And it was like, I'm so bored.

But anyway, I'm finally feeling better and I, didn't write for probably over a week, which was very unusual. I haven't done that in years and it just, it made me feel even worse I think. But, when I started back though, I was certainly ready when I finally felt like writing again and sat down. It was like all of this stuff started coming out. So my work in process is way along. I'm getting close to finishing the book, so.

Oh good.

That's 

Cool. 

Yeah. 

And I've got book, three coming out. The, If I had a Wish, the Wishing Star Series, then it'll be out on August the 24th, which is a Sunday. And, so I'm moving towards that, the pre-orders up. If you go to my website, you can, hit the pre-order. And I'm really excited about it 'cause it was my first attempt at a ice queen-ish, is what I'm calling her, because she's not really an ice queen, but she kind of is. But she softens kind of quickly. And so, that's the fun part, you know, and my ARC team has it and they're loving it and I've got some really good, feedback on it. So. Anyway, so that's fun. That's what I've been doing. I've been sick and then finally working on my book.

So, it's an ice queen, kind of like ice cream in the sun. It's only frozen for a little while. 

That's not a bad way to describe it. The opening scene though is great on how they end up meeting the two, but, yeah, it's kinda like that, but you gotta get to the point where you find out why she's the way she is. So we get there. So.

You should steal, KC's analogy for your newsletter when you're explaining it.

There you go. 

Can you say it again? So it's an ice 

cream ice queen. Yes. Ice cream.

Ice cream. Ice queen in the sun. Because she melts quickly. 

Yeah. 

Yeah. So anyway, 

Get your post-it out and that down. 

Okay. I'll catch you after we record after the podcast. You're always stealing ideas from everybody else. So maybe I'll take one from you. So...

Fair enough.

It's my turn.

My wife and I had a great weekend. We actually went on a little trip to Cold Spring, New York, and I wanted to give a shout out to Doug there. Do you ever meet someone in your lifetime and they just have the best energy and they're just so kind and you just all of a sudden hit it off and you talk to 'em like you knew them for years?

Well. We went to this place and it was called Doug's Pub. And, it caught our eye because it said, on the menu. Welcome to Doug's, pretty good pub. Many people have visited our pub, enjoyed the fair, and gone on to lead normal lives.

It's a pretty fair pub.

Yeah. And then the, chalkboard outside, he said, voted best burger in town by some guy who likes cheeseburgers.

Good sense of humor. 

Yeah. Anyways, the town was super sweet. We did a little hike. It's just really pretty place to visit. So we had some fun doing that. 

And then I just wanted to talk a little bit about writer's block, because this book that I've been writing is the first one where I've actually had writer's block and I kept saying, oh, I'm doing better now. And then it would just halt. I think a lot of writers out there have this problem, this is the first time it's happened to me, and boy does it suck. I hate it.

Yeah. It is, it's bad.

Yeah. I hear you. 

And anyways, what I figured out finally, for me that's been working, is when I finish the 2000 words, I say, okay, tomorrow, you know, you have to write in the morning. And I make myself decide what the chapter's gonna be about, which I've never done before.

Oh, I always know what's coming next. Yeah, I make myself a little note. Okay. Next we're gonna change POV to so and so, and this is what's gonna happen, or you know, just a few notes. 

I know the POV changes, but then I'm like, now what the fuck happens with this one? And I have no idea. 

Oh. 

Yeah, I'll put a little note in there. 

So that's been helping a lot. So just a little tip for you people out there that are like me and don't plot everything, this is helping inch by inch. 

When it happens to me, it's usually in a part of the book that I'm trying to connect to another part, and I've already gone ahead in my mind and thought, oh, this is gonna be so fun to write and yada yada, but then I have to stop and connect those two parts, and that's where it's like, oh, it's, you know, how am I gonna do that? 

Mm-hmm. Those transition chapters are really hard.

Yes. That's when it'll happen to me.

Mm-hmm.

And that's exactly what I was talking about a couple weeks ago where I pulled the middle up to the front of the book because like, screw that. I can't think of anything, so I'll just make the middle be the beginning.

Mm-hmm. 

Yeah. 

We feel you. It happens to us.

I know right? The pain. Let's see, do we have any texts or emails?

We have a few texts, CeeJay likes what we do this week, recaps, so she finds that more entertaining, I guess, than the rest of the podcast. I don't know what she meant exactly, but she likes that part to know we have real lives. And they also posted on Facebook a comment that Kimberly should try something like Virtual OneNote instead of Post-Its or Miro, which I guess is another, idea saving app.

Oh, that reminds me. I've seen a new commercial since I've been watching so much tv. Me and my couch. There's a new commercial for Progressive Insurance. it has this big blob that's made of post-it notes and it's about this woman that has this business and they keep put slapping these post-it notes on different parts of it. And I can't help but think of Kimberly. So when y'all see that commercial, that progressive insurance commercial with the big Post-it note, That is Kimberly Todd right there folks.

Yeah, thank you, CeeJay. A lot of people have suggested other tools that I could use that would require me learning another thing, which...

Oh, that's funny. 

I can't... 

That's funny.

do right now.

And Cheryl also sent a text and said that they also really like the Ask Us Anything segment and would really like another one sometime soon.

Oh, good.

That's kind of what emails we had. First off, CeeJay emailed about the audio books from our audio book, episode. She says she listens to 'em a lot and she gets them from the library. I hope people do know about that, that libraries do have, audio books that you can borrow. I know some of my books are, in libraries and I think it's a good thing. So there's other choices besides Audible. She mentioned chirp, which, my books are on there too. You can get, books cheaper on chirp and you don't have to have a monthly fee. And there's also audiobook.com. They run sales a lot on sapphic books. So that's another, opportunity to listen, I suppose.

And she said the narrators make a huge difference to her because if she doesn't like the narrator, it's like, you know, she can't finish the story or whatever, but sometimes the story might not be as great, but if she likes the voice, then she continues to listen. She liked our Ask Us Anything episodes too, but she thinks anything over 26 minutes for our podcast is absolutely golden. 'cause that's how long it takes her to walk her dogs the... 

I've heard this before somewhere. 

mornings. I know. Isn't that the truth? And then Cheryl emailed us and she said, of course her favorite episode was, guess y'all. Guess which one?

Let's talk about sex, baby.

Let's about sex, baby. That's right. She said we need to do a follow up on that one.

Yes. CeeJay mentioned she does like that part about what we're talking about, like me being sick for the last two weeks because it shows that we're real people that have real lives. And, nothing for Insta this week. So we're gonna just jump in and talk about our first year as podcasters. KC you wanna start?

Sure. So one thing that came to mind was, and I was looking through transcripts to try to come up with, boy, what was it that I really enjoyed over the last year? And I noticed a theme. So 

Oh 

Jamey has things breaking down all the time. So there was first a lawnmower, I dunno if you remember that. Yep. And then I think a refrigerator, did the refrigerator die at

Uh, no. It was the air conditioner.

I know about the air conditioner and then there was

And then there was my car.

The car. Yeah. 

And then there was me.

Oh, then you, yeah.

Poor thing. 

True. This last, couple of months or for the summer for sure. 

So I was getting a kick out of that. Your bad luck when it came to different things, breaking down.

Yeah. I told y'all it's hard to be me sometimes. 

And along those lines I was thinking about what the listeners don't know is KC, last time we recorded, she mentioned about having to pull her billionaires book because she didn't want little gray-haired ladies reading her erotica. What you guys don't know is, it was super funny to hear the story way before she decided to post it in her newsletter and on social media.

 So Jamey and I got to hear the whole story ahead of time and the way KC, told it, just.

Yeah, 

I still think KC may have jumped the gun because those little old ladies may know more than you think.

Yeah. Well, I just don't wanna have to meet them on my walk and do an awkward wave. Good morning. Yeah.

And the other thing I had for, Jamey that I'm still trying to get her to do is, if you remember, she had talked about finding her relatives and she found this picture of one of her relatives that looked like they might be of the sapphic nature. So I keep saying you should put a picture of her in one of your books or maybe in your newsletter because the picture's really sweet, so.

 Well, let me just tell you, Kimberly, in the book that I'm currently writing. one of the MCs is gonna go back into her history because here's the thing, you know. I am not the first gay person in my family and I won't be the last. And we know that gay people have been around since the beginning of time.

So, so this person, we're gonna look back in her past. And, I came across that picture, and maybe I'll stick that in the back of the book because in this series I put,star pictures that are important to the story in the back. And this couple are not astronomers, and so there's gonna be some stars that, are meaningful to them. But I thought about it just yesterday. I came across that picture and I thought, maybe I ought to stick this in the back, you know, of the book. So.

Excellent. 

Anyway, so see there, I am thinking about it. I don't know that I wanna write an entire historical fiction book, but I am gonna use some of the things from that part of time when I went looking into our history, so yeah. Don't y'all ever wonder, who the gay people were at your family?

I know a couple.

Do you, from the past?

They're since gone, but I've known a couple yeah.

Yeah. I've got a cousin that's the same generation that I am and he was gay. 

Mm-hmm. You gotta kind of figure it out somehow, and you need to talk to the people that are still alive to figure it out, because you're not gonna find much written history about it.

 I don't have a lot of, grandparents around to ask. And, my mom did genealogy, but I don't remember her doing any pink pages, so I don't think there's any gay people that we know of. I really don't. 

Well look at the unmarried people in your family and see if any of 'em were unmarried or anything like that. That's what makes me think that about this aunt, this great, great aunt or however many, great, great, removed. Because I also had a great aunt. I guess it's the same side of the family that she was, never married. And I think we used to ask her, well, not her, we would ask our other great aunts, we were kids. Why didn't she ever get married? And somebody made up a story. 'cause I kind of think it's made up. Well, she got her heart broken when she was young just never did. And I thought, I don't know that. The older I got I was like, I 

She lived with her roommate. 

Yeah. Well she didn't live with a roommate. I know that. But still. It makes you wonder. So, but you know what? We're fiction writers so we can make that shit up if we want to. So, So I'm finding an unmarried, person in my family. I'm gonna give her a story. So there you go.

Well, one other thing that I had that for me was super funny is we're like, okay, let's do a podcast. And so we were like, how do you do a podcast? And so we said, well, let's get a topic. And we're like, okay, we got a topic. And then everyone's like, okay, I'll say this. You'll say that, you know, we each picked what we were gonna say. And so we did three episodes where we recorded for episode one, and we just sounded like morons. It was so bad 'cause we were trying we stuttered. We tried to, it was so awkward and scripted. Worst idea ever. So the episode one that you guys hear, that you might think, eh, they're just learning. You didn't even know what we went through to get to that.

Do you remember that the first episode was gonna be us introducing ourselves and explaining why we're doing the podcast and talk about snoozer? I mean, oh my God.

I know. And, and we were like, okay, you're gonna talk on this. When we tried to do a script and now it's just like so easy, but we were so, we were afraid of dead air. 

We sucked man. 

We were, we were afraid of dead air. 

Yeah. 

That was fun. But now look at us. We just do what we want and it comes out fine.

Well, you say it comes out fine because of Kimberly. 

Thanks to all of us. 

Yes. Yes, Kimberly always makes us sound good. 

And they don't see us. But we also have learned, most of us have learned to raise our hand when we're getting ready to speak.

Yes. To make things easier for Kimberly, because we talk over each other and, and listeners at the beginning of each podcast, she reminds us. Remember to raise your hand and let me tell y'all, Kimberly is such a nice person and sometimes she will look at us like, I'm telling you bitches, you better start raising your hand.

I'm sick of this.

Oh, man.

I don't have a very good poker face. 

Yeah. It's like, okay. Okay. Sorry, sorry.

Oh, well we're talking about Kimberly. Let's, let's stick to, her plants. Okay.

Yeah. 

Her pet plants. And tell us what happened with the bonsai tree, because I remember we had an episode about that suicide.

Shout out to Minishca out there because she knows about this already. But I'm telling you, I was so excited, the Bonsai this year, the spring regrew, its leaves, and I was so proud. I was like, look it, I did it. People said, you can't do this with a Japanese maple, and I grew it in the house. I was like, you know, fuck you. I did it. Well, don't you know, two weeks later, the freaking thing died. 

Ah. 

So I was like, oh, bye, Lily. That was the end of my bonsai trip. I'm done with that now.

So what do you think happened to it?

I don't know. I gave it a lot of love. I talked to it. I don't know. I have no idea.

So you're done trying that. What are you gonna try next? 

I think I'm just sticking with my orchids 'cause they love me. They tell me all the time. So they grow flowers and the only thing I noticed is I thought their flowers are so pretty and it breaks my heart when they finally fall. 'cause they last like a couple months and then the flowers fall off. So I decide you know what I'll do? I'll save them on a plate and they'll dry out and they'll be really pretty. Well, the yellow ones look like dog pissed all over it.

Oh, no. 

Don't.

When they dried, it was nasty looking. So there went that idea, but I saved a couple of purple ones and they looked really pretty. So there you go. That's excitement for people out there. 

But speaking of animals, we also have Leo who, you know well. 

Sweetly to today we have, my sister's dog, 'cause she's visiting us for a few days while my sister goes and visits her grandkids. So I had to warn everybody this morning. I said, if the dog starts barking, that's gonna be Trixie. So I'm telling y'all, but you know what? They have come in here and laid down on either side of the chair and been pretty good. We'll see how long that lasts.

Yeah. You jinxed us now, be barking and click, click, click. Clicking of the toenails. I mean, that's kind of our soundtrack is the click, click, click of those toenails.

Thanks Moody.

Yeah. 

You are welcome, but what about, KC's

Kitty Cats. Yeah. Well, so I have this gigantic cat 24 pounds who likes to jump on the desk and squeaks the hell out of the desk and scratches at the door and does all kinds of things that I just see Kimberly's eyes roll back in her head when he does that. So.

I'm like, motherfucker, the cat again. Motherfucker. The dog again. What the fuck? The clock. I have learned my I just said, you know what? The clock is staying. I can't do anything about, I'm just leaving.

Sorry. You know that clock gives me grief. Let me tell you something, because it was my father's and it's a grandfather clock, and he used to mess with that thing. And I swear I look at it and I'm like, oh, I need to get rid of that, but I just can't do it. I could stop it while we're recording, but then it has to, you can't just reset it, it would have to catch up. So that's why it's such a pain in the ass.

Mm-hmm.

But I keep it for my daddy, so one of these days, one of these days. And I know, was it CeeJay that mentioned, or was it, no, it was Cheryl that mentioned the sex scene episode. I re-listened to that because that's one of my favorite ones too, as well as the trope episode. And I gotta tell you, that made me laugh so hard that episode, I don't know if you've listened to it in a while, but we were talking for a while about what to call the hoo-ha down there and like trying to share names and saying, no, this, that wouldn't work. And so we definitely could do a second one.

Words that we don't like. Well, here's something I wanna know then, because. Not too long ago, I saw a thing, you know how people put little, pepper emojis on the heat level of your books and everything. I wonder what those ratings are because sometimes people think my books are maybe a two or a three, and I always think they're at least a four. So my idea of steamy and spicy may be different than other people's, I guess, what do y'all think of y'all's, heat levels on y'all's books?

Mine are pretty spicy, but I don't know the scale. 

 What makes it a five? Do you have to use toys to make it a five?

I dunno know? 

I don't know either. That's what I mean. That's this? we may need to talk about. 

I guess we might have to talk about that in a sex scene episode for sure.

Yeah, we need to have another episode on this, I think, because that's a good way to look at what qualifies you as a five-pepper author.

Yeah. I mean, don't you think it could be a five without toys?

Hmm. Sure.

Yes.

 Sure. Depends on...

So I think... 

Maybe there's spanking or something.

Yeah. Position could be... 

Yeah. 

position. 

Couldn't it be be emotional level, intensity and emotional level that makes it a five.

No. 

Annnnn..... 

Oh fuck man. 

Gong. 

Y'all are hard. Okay, then that's why mine are threes or fours. Then this is to be continued, listeners. We are gonna... 

More to come. Keep listening. 

dive into this.. We're gonna need reader feedback before we start that episode to see what they say. 

I just put fire or pepper levels and what do they mean? 

That would be a good episode. , 

What's a five or whatever. Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up because, I don't remember who, it was just not too long ago, I think it was Clair Lydon in her, newsletter or something, mentioned something about the spice level. And she said, what do you prefer? That's what it was, because she said, you know, I'm like a three. I don't like a whole bunch of it or this or that, and other people. So it'll be interesting to see. But I wondered about us.

I'm all over the map. Actually, in the last year have had my elderly heroes and my mystery and they were faded black completely. I mean, if anything, it was emotional sex.

Fuck you. KC. I know what you're saying.

Wasn't a two or three, that's for sure. And. Then of course I did this eroica one just now, which is 17 peppers. I will tell you there are 14 intense sex scenes out of 24 chapters. 

Well, you mentioned several strap-on scenes. So does a strap on automatically make it a five? I'm not giving it away. 

Well, I mean, I have one where she goes to buy the strap on in the adult sex store and they have sex in the back room with the new strap on. So I would think that's one of the best sex scenes I've ever written as far as intensity level. It's pretty kinky and they have a good time. 

Well, it is erotica, so we hope it does have 17 peppers.

Yeah. 

It should. It should. 

Yeah. I don't wanna disappoint people. 

We've 

gotta do that. We've got to talk about heat levels. That's all 

I've read some that are a lot hotter. Yes, we do need that episode. That would be a lot of of fun. 

That's coming. Listeners, we're gonna talk about heat levels 'cause I'm gonna defend my peppers. I'm gonna defend my peppers. You fuckers,

I don't know why, when you said, I'm gonna defend my peppers, I just looked at your boobs.

That's right. I was gonna make a comment on the coming comment, that this episode is coming. Hmm. Okay.

I can tell that we're gonna probably skip the next episode coming up and put this new sex scene show in.

Yeah. 

Yeah, we should. 

You're gonna get wish your Cheryl.

Yeah.

Okay. Switching gears. I was also looking at the Ask Us Anything episode and they were asking how we met, and one thing that stood out to me was, Kimberly's height came up as part of our conversation, and that, in fact, she's actually an Amazon, got the blonde hair, got the, you know, I don't know. How tall are you? How tall are you, really? 

About, 5' 10" with no shoes.

Well, okay, so when you put on those heels, you're jumping up there pretty good, so,

She's a tall, beautiful, blonde listeners. That's what she is with a tall, beautiful wife.

Yes. 

Much, more beautiful.

Yes, they go together. 

Mm-hmm. 

Yes, Yes. 

She’s a goddess. I'm telling you.

Well, my recent favorite part has to be the OWL the hooty, hoo hoo, I'm sorry. Older, wiser lesbian is what the fuck I am, and I'm claiming it, and that's how I'm ending the podcast from now on was with my hooty...

Oh boy.

hoo. So I hope you listeners love it because I'm claiming it.

Uh, I still miss the, byeeee.

Oh bye. 

You can mix them up.

I guess I could, but I just love the hoo hoo.

Matter of fact, I told that joke Saturday night. Not joke. I was educating some people, uh, had a little pool party over at my brother's house and, I don't know how we even got to talking about it, but one of his friends, she said, I had a cousin that's a lesbian, and her girlfriend and I used to just have the best talks with her and I'm like, yeah, we're interesting people. And I mean, it was kind of like that. And then I told them, you know, well, I'm an Owl and what Owl means. So it was, it was funny. Yeah, it was funny.

Look at you.

Thank you. It was up to you. 

Okay, Kimberly. Kimberly does all the research for us and comes up with things like scissor jokes and.

Oh my God, that one's still the best. Tell it again, Kimberly.

I love telling my wife it, and she just gives, I love watching her roll her eyes at me. She just rolls her eyes and walks away. So any lesbian joke I can find, I tell her.

Tell it again. For our listeners that didn't hear it.

How do lesbians settle a fight? Rock, paper, scissors.

Scissors! Love that too, though. That's fun.

Yeah, we like it. I don't know if any listeners liked it, but we definitely liked it. So there you go.

So that means our next episode is gonna be on pepper levels with sex. And then after that, I guess we could do another, ask us anything since those are the things that...

mm-hmm.

We remember as well as our listeners.

That's true. And you know what, for me, editing, I put this in there, like going to the, every two weeks has made it much more enjoyable editing, but also for me, when, because I listen to it a lot of times before, KC and Jamey listen to the final one. And when it's something fun like the sex scene episode, or tropes or something where we're all just laughing and that's fun to listen to a lot of times. But if it gets really dry, if it's very, you know, learner friendly, then I get a little bit bored. Yeah. It's for people to learn.

I know. know.

Some of those are very instructional. I did listen to parts of some of those, like, you know how to put things on KDP and stuff, and we are still funny, but I can see why maybe those don't have as many hits as some of the others. 

And people need to know, you know, how to do that stuff. So luckily, we got a lot of that data centric info out at the beginning. So...

Yeah.

I guess really though the highlight, for me would be JD Locke being one of our, longtime listeners and she published her first book. That really was exciting. And that's why we're doing it so, way to go Jules. And she's still a friend and still reaches out. And we're probably all gonna meet up one of these days when we go to some kind of author event. Yup. I mean, that's why we're doing it, is to help other authors, so.

Yeah. 

So congratulations to all of us on year one of Three Lesbians and a Pen Podcast. 

woo. 

woo. 

woo. Hoo. Hooty hoo.

Okay, well that's it for this week and next week, I guess based on our conversation today, we are gonna have sex episode number two coming next week where we talk about pepper level and have Jamey defend her level of peppers. 

So question of the week, let's do one on the fly as well. What do you consider a five-pepper scene?

Perfect. That's what we need to know. Listeners, please reach out to us.

 Those of you that are brave enough to write in.

And if you say it's emotional level.

 Please be brave. Please be brave.

Okay. That's it. Thanks for listening. Have a good week.

Thanks everyone. That was fun. 

Hooty hoo. Byeeee. 

Thanks for listening. If you'd like to reach out to us, you can contact us by email at contact@threelesbiansandapenn.com with the number three spelled out or on Instagram, Facebook and X at three lesbians in a pen using the number three. And finally, on our website at threelesbiansandapenn.com, we look forward to hearing from you, see you next week.