Hi, everyone. We're glad you're here. This is the Three Lesbians and a Pen podcast. Get ready to have your world rocked. As we dive into the wild and sometimes wacky world of self-publishing. We are three fabulous bestselling authors. I'm your host, Kimberly Todd with my best friends.

K. C. Luck

and Jamey Moody. 

Join us as we discuss the joys of writing, challenges of self-publishing, and anything else that tickles our fancy. 

Hey there. Welcome to episode 11 of the Three Lesbians and a Pen podcast. 

I'm Kimberly Todd. I'm here with my fabulous friends, KC Luck and Jamey Moody. Today, we're talking about imposter syndrome. But before we start, what's everyone been up to? KC?

I finished writing and editing my novella, "Holiday Layover" and sent it to the editor. So that happened this week. I'm very excited about it.

Awesome.

Yay!

Yes. It's going to come out on, November 27th for those in the U.S. realize that's the day before Thanksgiving. So if you're in the U.S. and you have a lot of turkey in your belly and you're sitting on the couch, you need something to do. That book will be available for you to download and read.

There you go. Good idea.

Perfect.

Okay, I guess I'm next. Let's see. What did I do? Getting ready for a big release tomorrow. Y'all know me. I'm always going to be plugging whatever I'm working on. So, yeah, tomorrow. My Christmas book, it is not a novella, comes out and I'm really excited about it because these two characters have taken their place.

I've written a lot of books and they're way up there at the top. So I'm really excited about it, and I hope everybody will go out and get it. It's called, "Meant to be Christmas." But here's a strange little thing that happens to me when I get through with a book. I've told y'all I feel a little out of balance.

And so I was ready to start, the next book. And I wrote about, not even a thousand words. And I'm like, Hmm, this just doesn't feel right. And I had to stop and I've been thinking about it for several days. And finally it came to me yesterday, what I need to do, but. I just hate that when you have to start a new book and explain, you know, all the things to people.

And does that ever bother y'all?

Creating a new world, or?

That's the problem. I already had book one done. So this is a book two and you have to find that little balance where if you've got a new reader popping in there, then you've got to give them enough that's going on so they know all the people because you're going to have people from the past book in the new one and then you don't want to over explain.

So I was just in that strange little...

Yeah. With The Darkness series. I just finished, book six last year, let me tell you, I'm trying to get that so people would be able to actually pick that up. I don't know why they would do that. It says literally book six on it, but pick it up and actually know who the heck is who it's always a challenge, you know?

It's kind of crazy.

Well, because I always say, and I try to write them this way, that if you don't want to read the whole series, that's fine. That you can jump in on book two or book three. Most of my series are three books and still know what's going on and still, you know, enjoy the book. And so I'm always thinking about that too.

But anyway, that's what I've been doing this week. Kimberly, how about you?

Well, I'm happy to say that my wife and I went to a movie today, and we stayed for the entire thing, and we both loved it.

Yay.

No way.

Holy cow!

I can't believe it.

Fun.

Well, wait a minute. What was the movie? 

It was Conclave and it has Jeremy Fiennes, Isabella Rossellini, Stanley Tucci, 

Cool. 

It was really good. We loved it. 

 Yeah. That's supposed to be about the selection of the next Pope. 

And let me tell you, it has quite a twist at the very end.

Ooh. All right. I have to watch it. 

It's intriguing. And then I have been working diligently on my new book. So that's it for me. 

Jamey, do we have any new reader feedback?

Yes, we got emails this week. The first one came from Jules, and, she continues to listen to the podcast, so thank you, Jules. And she loves to ask us questions. So her question for us this week is, What is the best money you have ever spent as a writer? KC?

I have to say hands down the best money or best investment as a writer has been in my editor. I went through three editors, so I found the one that was good fit, and she's worth every penny. She's, helped me not only make my books better, but make me a better writer. So very valuable.

Right. Kimberly?

Yeah, that's absolutely my number one, but my number two was discovering Vellum. I think that's made publishing my book so easy. And at first you're overwhelmed because you think you can't learn the program, but you really can. And it's just a godsend. Right. Editor would be number one for me also, and I do use Vellum, so I'll go with one more, and I will say when I don't make my own covers, I spend money on a cover creator and so far that has worked out awesome. So, that's money that I spend.

Yeah. You've had some really good covers. 

 Thank you. Well, thank Anita Hallam. She's 

 been doing the ones, recently, so there you go, Jules. There's three things.

All good. Thanks. Definitely.

Yeah. Okay. And then we heard from Cheryl. She is the one that, gave us a text message the last week. That's why I didn't hear from her on a email.

And, she, commented on the imposter syndrome and I've got to tell y'all she has the best story. She said her imposter syndrome was when she met and fell in love with her beautiful femme. She said she was not only an older, beautiful woman, but she was also well traveled. And, Cheryl was a stocky 14 years younger and a small town girl.

She said, it turns out, her beautiful femme liked her ass, and 30 years later, she still loves it. Isn't that awesome?

And she said 30 years later, she still cherishes and loves her beautiful femme, and she no longer has imposter, syndrome. She feels worthy.

Nice.

Yes. Good one. Good one.

Thanks, Cheryl. We love that.

 When. I read that, it just made my day. And we have a new listener that, binge listened to all our episodes. This is Thalita. I hope I pronounced that right. She is from Brazil and she sent us all a virtual hugs. But she said she's loving the podcast so far and she thinks it's interesting for readers as well as authors.

So we're really happy about that. One comment that she did tell me about, she was talking about the question that we asked if readers click links in our books, that we put in the front or the back matter, she reads on a Kindle Paperwhite and she said that is not the best device to get on the internet.

So she doesn't click the links on it, but she'll highlight them until she can get on the internet and do that. One other thing that she brought up and I have to agree with her is, when you upload a book, and you get ready to read it, Amazon takes you straight to the first chapter and she likes to stop and look at the cover as well as who the editor and the cover creator were and I agree with her. The first thing I like to look at is the cover and try to get a sense of what the story is going to be about, but you know, Amazon will take you straight to that first chapter. But I thought that was, a lot of fun. Then she answered our most recent question about an imposter syndrome and, she's a gamer.

And so when she goes online and plays games with other people, sometimes she gets imposter syndrome because she panics and thinks, well, what am I doing here? I'm not as good as they are. But then she realized that she is. So I thought that was great. So imposter syndrome, happens to us all. 

Yes. 

And she can't wait to listen to more episodes.

So, Thalita, we are glad you were with us.

Thank you.

Yeah.

This week we are talking about imposter syndrome. So KC, did you want to start us off?

Yeah. So I'm actually going to give you the definition of imposter syndrome so that everybody's clear on what we're talking about. This came from the internet, of course, but a WebMD actually is the internet site and it literally says imposter syndrome is when you doubt your own skills and successes.

You feel you're not as talented or worthy as others believe. And you're scared that one day people will realize that. So I have to agree that that is exactly how I feel when I have imposter syndrome. Is that I'm not worthy, that people are going to figure out that I shouldn't be on a podcast about self publishing. So,

Well, that's not true.

That always tickles me when you say that, but okay. 

Huh. Why does she think she has the authority to do that? That's always what I think is that people are going to figure out that I'm just kind of a big old fake, but luckily I'm not, and I actually have published a few books. So I just try to remind myself of that. So what about you guys? What do you feel like when you think about imposter syndrome?

Well sometimes it will make my stomach hurt and I will wonder what in the hell I'm doing. But, it will even make me think, well, am I taking the right direction with my work in process? Do I need to put in more angst, a different conflict, things like that. I will question all of the things I do.

But then, I want to say it usually happens from comparing myself to others. That's where imposter syndrome comes from for me a lot of times.

 And for me, I think I mentioned this before. I am pretty okay. Cause I'm in my own little world. Working on my book with my editor in my safe place. And then the day when I have to publish my book is when the imposter syndrome comes flying in, like on a witch's broom with tons of screaming monkeys, right?

And I'm sitting there. I'm like, okay, just hit the publish button. Just hit the publish button. It's gonna be fine. And then you're sitting there and you're like, am I really an author? I don't, what if people hate this book? What if it sucks? What if they think, what if I'm a failure? What if no one, what if not one person reads the book?

Then what do I do? And I feel scatterbrained and nauseous for three days while I'm waiting because it takes forever. Like it did with this book for Amazon. I know my readers have said, Oh, I've posted reviews, Kimberly. I love the book. It's fabulous, blah, blah, but no, Amazon loves to take its time.

So you just sit there in pain, like pulling your fingernails off one at a time with a pair of pliers while you wait for that first review to hit. And you're like, it does suck. It is a failure. I suck. I am so not an author, even though you see your list of books there that have great reviews and people like it.

Wow.

 That's what happens for me. I don't know.

How do you really feel like the witch on a broom with the monkeys right out of Wizard of Oz.

It's appropriate for this month.

So I've actually had nightmares about, book releases, right up where you're at. And I have nightmares about reading the very first review that comes through and it says, you know, literally, why is this person even trying to write books? And I know some people have actually gotten bad reviews along those lines.

Luckily I have not, but I have seen people post on Facebook about people being that nasty in the reviews. And yeah, that's one my biggest fear is that someone will say something like that. So, I try not to read the reviews just in case.

Well, I was just going to say, maybe we need to do a podcast on reviews sometime. On, how to deal with it and stuff. But what I want to know then Is what you do to get past it. Mine does not usually last three days like Kimberly's does, but, one thing I was going to say I do to get past it, there's a few things I do, but one is I look at my bookshelf that has all my books on it. And I say to myself, are you kidding me? Come on, you have published these books. People have bought them and read them and liked them. Get over yourself. So I give myself a good talking to what do y'all do?

So, I've taught myself to celebrate the wins. That's a big one for me. Is that, imposter syndrome starts to kick my ass. And then I think, you know what? I've written X number of books. I've got X number of reviews. I have this many followers on Facebook. And that is worth celebrating. So, then I'll usually have a shot at tequila.

Yay. That works. Alcohol always works.

Alcohol always works with imposter syndrome.

Heck, yeah.

When in doubt, do a shot.

So yeah, I celebrate the wins.

 Maybe we need that on a T-hirt somewhere.

On the front and the Moody on the back. That sounds like a great T-shirt.

There you go. I love it.

And then I also try to remind myself that it's not me against the world. I have good friends, like my pod pals. And that I am not in this all alone. I'm not on an island. 

Right. 

So that's how I deal.

Yeah, and I do the same thing. I go and I look at my reviews. And I also, I really love the emails that I get from my readers. And sometimes when I'm feeling worried about something, I'll just go read a couple of their emails. 

They'll write you something personal and they'll send it to you. And when you read that, you're like, okay, there is that one person out there that likes, I know there's more than one, but you know what I mean? There's that one person that really enjoys my book. And it just calms down the frontal lobe as I call it.

Cause your mind is like, oh my God, what if this happens? So you just read something nice and then you move on.

Yes. 

Another thing I do is I've got, two reminders. On my phone, they come up every week. One comes up on Tuesdays and one comes up on Thursdays. Now I don't really know why I did that, but anyway, I've kept them on there. One of them says you're the only person on your path. There's no comparison. So I make myself look at that.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

And remind myself of that because a lot of times that's what gets me in the position I'm in anyway with imposter syndrome. And then the other one, that comes up on Thursday says no one is going to call my prose spectacular, but that's okay.

Mm

Because I have to think about that, you know, I don't write my books to get on a bestseller list, like the New York Times or anything like that. I'm writing books to, make people happy, to make them feel good emotions and to make them happy, especially in the dark times that we're in, you know, kind of now. And I have to remind myself, that's why you're doing this because I get joy out of writing the books and I want people to feel joy when they're reading them.

And when I remind myself of that. I can usually calm down.

The only other thing that, that I'll do sometimes is, I'll usually go for a walk and I will work through a scene in my head and then I come back and I sit down and I write it because that's usually the problem. I'm not necessarily stuck at a particular place. I'm just stuck that, what am I doing?

Am I any good at this? I'll go through that scene in my head and then I just come back and I write it and man, all the anxiety will go away and I'm back in my rhythm.

Yeah. And for me, jumping on your affirmations that you have there twice a week, which is a great idea to have them on a reminder, but I free write every morning. I get up really early in the morning, and not as early as maybe Kimberly, but I get up really early in the morning. Exactly. I'm talking around five o'clock, four thirty, five o'clock. I know you get up earlier, but I get up early in the morning and I do free writing. That's one of the things I always do to start my day. And then I write affirmations. I'll write 10 affirmations every day and they differ based on what kind of mood I'm in, but they usually center around, I'm worthy of my success. And so if anybody's suffering from imposter syndrome of any kind, any, anywhere doing affirmations will really help you get past it.

That sounds good. But I have a question for both of you. Why in the hell do you get up so early?

I never sleep. You can text me anytime, I will be awake.

She's a vampire.

That's it. 

People, people.

Except between 8pm and 10, I lie. I'm asleep then, so don't frickin call me then.

That's Eastern time. So you know.

Yes.

Eight to ten Eastern time.

Otherwise, I'll kill you.

Okay, 

So one of the thing I do, before I hand it off to anybody else is I have a quote. That I actually have right here next to my monitor and I look at it as often as possible because it really has helped me. when. I first started writing, I really worried about what's the reader thinking and what's my, what are my peers thinking?

And am I, not doing a good job or am I failing on this? And then the quote says, "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you. If you realized how seldom they do." That's so true.

Yeah, Eleanor Roosevelt wrote that. And it's so true. It's like, you know what? I'm worried about people and they don't give a rat's ass about my, what I'm thinking or what I'm doing.

They read the book, they move on. There's a bunch of other books to read. They're not sitting around thinking about me at all. 

So true. So true.

And then I have for myself, two things I call them shocker words. They're not really shocker. They're shocker for me to get my head out of my ass. If I'm getting like too worried about something or I have a writer's block. But every morning I meditate for 10 minutes.

I turn off the phone. I don't look at the computer and I get, quiet for 10 minutes. And I actually started doing the, "Ah" meditation from Wayne Dyer years ago, and I still do it. It's really great. It just stops you from being able to think and you just totally relax. And usually once I do that, I feel calm, but let's say I'm writing in the middle of the day and I get stuck somewhere... I have shocker words, which are not really shocker, but they stop my brain from going on these weird tangents. And I'll say like, "divinity" or, "success" or something like that, just over and over and over. Because if you keep saying the same word over and over, you can't think of anything else.

And it kind of calms your brain down. Then I look at the words and all of a sudden they start to flow again. So it's like breaking your thought pattern.

for. Mm 

Yeah. 

I've got one other thing, I was cleaning out my desk and I came across a little note that a reader had sent me a long time ago. Probably during my first year of publishing and, she just put, a little line in there. She said, you touch people's hearts. And I have put that little note where I see it. Anytime I open a certain drawer because I want to remind myself of that, that I'm touching people's hearts because that's the whole point. That's why we do this. 

And, I needed that reminder. So, uh, it just kind of came out of left field because like I said, I was cleaning out my desk and I'm just so glad I found it.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Yeah, it touched my heart. 

So, 

There you go.

Yeah. I don't think readers realize how, much their positive words help authors who are sometimes in a vacuum in their head in this little hovel of their office, and you see something like that pop up in your email and it can just change your trajectory for the day.

Yeah. I know some people, they write to me and they say, sorry to bother you. I know you're probably busy, but I wanted to say this, but you know what? I have no problem with you emailing me. I have my email address in the back of my book for a reason. And if you want to email me and, hopefully tell me positive things. Then I am more than happy to hear from you. Absolutely.

Oh, I love hearing from readers. That's why I'm always encouraging them. Please, email me. 

So, yeah, I, I do. I love it. I encourage it. 

OK. So for next week, we're going to be talking about how much does it cost to publish your first book? And then, KC, do we have a question of the week?

Yeah. So the question is going to be around that, because now that we've all published the book, we want to know how much it costs us. But the question I have for you is how much would you be willing to spend on an author? So if you're a reader or another author who reads, which most of us are readers as well, how much are you willing to spend on an author's book?

So whether it's a new author and you're willing to take that risk, or if it's an established author, you're one of your favorites, how much are you willing to spend on that author? So let's find out that for next week.

Well, that's it for this week. Thank you everyone for listening.

Thank you.

Please remember to, text us, email us, comment on our socials. And, yeah, thank you for listening. Bye. 

Thanks for listening. If you'd like to reach out to us, you can contact us by email at contact@threelesbiansandapen.com with the number three spelled out or on Instagram, Facebook and X at Three Lesbians and a Pen using the number three. And finally on our website, at threelesbiansandapen.com, we look forward to hearing from you, see you next week.